Wednesday, July 31, 2013

being as cliche as I can- CHOICES ;-)

Welcome Back!! Hope you had an awesome week! Let me ask you... are you thinking about what to do with your life ? lol  I used to think about that a lot more when I thought I was on my career path than I do now that I'm on my Life Path! HOWEVER! I don't want to give anyone the wrong idea. I'm not breezing through life without a care in the world! I'm just more satisfied with the way I view and conduct my life! AND ANOTHER THING! ;-) I most certainly would not have been ready for THIS LIFE much sooner than when it occurred!! I'm very happy with everything I accomplished but I found myself in my late 30's wondering what the hell just happened!! lol Sooo with that - I'm still on my ONE THING LEADS TO ANOTHER kick ;-) 
I've realized that I have a long history of GOOD TIMING/ GRABBING OPPORTUNITIES. I'm no pollyanna that's for damn sure! But I see no point in looking for the BAD side in an experience!
So here's another LIST! I knew it! You've been dying for a list of lists! ( why isn't there a sarcasm font!?)
1. 10th grade boring tour of vocational dept. eyes rolling into the back of my head and SUDDENLY  beauty school!! When I tell you it had never before crossed my mind I mean- I had only had 2 professional haircuts in my life!! 1 at Doris' salon ( small town granny shop lol) and a perm and cut at JC Penny! whoo hoo. I wanted my hair to look like the chick from USA's Night Flight videos... I looked like a mullet boy with a grandma perm.
2. One of the last days of beauty school a friend was on the payphone declining a job offer( ahh YEA I was eaves dropping. duh!) and I grabbed the phone from her and said I was interested what time should I come in! That was the NEW ME! I had something to be passionate about!
3. First time in Columbus was for my stateboard tests. We stepped on to High st at noon and it felt like a real city! ( I had been to D.C. too many times to count)  A year or so later my 18 yr old cousin and I came to Columbus for a weekend so I could find a job and apt. I took a job at an old chain salon called Christines. NOT FOR ME.  But I stayed a couple mos while I read the want ads! ( PS THANKS TO MY PARENTS FOR LAUNCHING ME INTO THE WORLD WITH 3 MOS PAID RENT!!!)
3. Got all glammed up for an interview at the "society" salon downtown. At that time. At that moment. It was COOL AS HELL!! Halfway through the interview I realized they weren't hiring a STYLIST but an ASSISTANT. I really didn't know what the hell that was but I just shifted gears right there. I NEEDED TO BE IN THAT SALON!! Got the job;-) It was exactly what I needed. High drama clients (very city. in my mind;-)) SUPER HIGH DRAMA salon owners. ( some stereotypes are true lol) I absorbed EVERYTHING!! good and bad! This salon is where I became a city girl. By then I lived in a newly redone apt at High and 2nd- BEFORE the short north went up that far! lol I HAD MADE IT!!! It was such an imperfect, melodramatic situation I would have been bored if it was anything less!!!

So another day I will continue with my list of CHOICES! But I feel like those were 3 VERY pivotal moments for me! That was the window of time where you get scared and go back to what you know or you get OVER IT and forge ahead!! I can't imagine my career/life without those 3 CHOICES!!
MY POINT for you today- If you're trying to figure out what to do NEXT. Think back to what you did FIRST! Get your MOJO back ( I really don't know what the hell mojo actually is but you know what I mean hahaha) Get your excitement back! You don't have to change the world... but it is your CHOICE!!

*** SEMI RELATED FUNNY STORY**
The guy I worked for as an apprentice knew his shit... when it came to hair. Not always a genius in other realms. Now I will admit when you talk ALL day to clients you can begin to ramble or not pay a lot of attention to what you're actually discussing BUT  One day he was discussing new skin and beauty treatments with a client. ( most of them were on first name basis with their plastic surgeons) She was saying something about a Japanese treatment and he said... hold on its gonna be good... " oh yea its that whole euthanasia thing... "EUTHANASIA IS NOT THE SAME THING AS YOUTH IN ASIA!!! The client and I did not make eye contact.;-)  
HAVE AN AWESOME WEEK!! AND IF ITS NOT GOING YOUR WAY- ITS YOUR CHOICE TO CHANGE IT!!

Thursday, July 25, 2013

OOOHHH the IRONY ;-) aka making lists

Hello!!! Im back. A day( or two) late and hopefully NOT a dollar short lol
You may have noticed the dual name for the blog. My topic today is my love of lists! How they have helped me to figure out what I want( subject to change ;-)), how to get there( usually), what I need to pack this weekend,what I want to get done before I leave(hahahaha yea right!) and how to stay on track with the KIND of PERSON I want to be (work in progress). The IRONY part this week is I really didn't want to look at my lists! I'm rebelling against my self. shocking. I always say one of my greatest skills is self sabotage!! BUT I KNOW IT!! I learned it from looking at my lists! For real.

Out of all of my posts so far I hope that this one will be the most helpful and not just revealing MY story.
This week I saw a bumper sticker that read- GOALS WITHOUT PLANS ARE JUST WISHES. so, So, SO TRUE!!!
I have had many goals over the years that I've taken off the list or accomplished them with great regret hahahaha (reference the story of the BIG SALON) and I've stumbled onto things and loved them. Without them being on the lists. I'm not THAT rigid! To me lists are like road maps. You'll probably get there with out one but you'll never know how and have no idea what else is in the area!

My purpose of sharing my story is twofold. One I needed to GET OVER IT!! I was hanging on to moments that I KNEW I needed to move past but also!! I learned a few things along the way!!! Alot of people,esp in my age range (40's) find that they need to change course! There are also people out there who feel unsettled where they are,just as I have, but upon closer review (its almost football season. I sound like a referee in the replay box lol)They realize they are EXACTLY where they need to be!

I'm going to share my basic list of WHO I want to be. THAT is the most important. Consciously deciding the kind of person you choose to be. NOT the person your SITUATION is turning you into!! I know. Heavy shit. But seriously, If you don't care enough to mold yourself no one else will that's for SURE!!
1. I WILL NOT SAY I CAN'T. I started this in beauty school. I was a sophomore on a required tour of the vocational dept and totally flipped out for beauty school!! I begged my parents, they agreed. Jr and Sr year was spent in training and I started telling myself that I didn't know ANYTHING about hair so I NEEDED TO LEARN IT. That was a new thought for me. For the most part I still believe if I want something I can learn to do it. SOMETIMES I DON'T WANT IT THAT BAD but at least I realize it!!
2. ANYTHING WORTH DOING IS WORTH DOING RIGHT. Thanks dad for the words of wisdom and blue collar work ethic! lol
3. NOW NOT LATER which has morphed into FORWARD MOTION. I have a lazy streak ok?! hahaha When my career starting changing I had a lot more free time than EVER in my life!!! NOT as GREAT as it sounds lol! Putting things off for the hell of it ain't a great plan!!;-)
4. NOTHING GOOD WILL COME OF THIS. When I feel myself getting all caught up and annoyed by some stupid shit that really ISN'T ANY OF MY BUSINESS or something that there is no way I can change-I remind myself of this simple fact. ex my neighbors yard looks like a prairie/weed patch. so. I have weeds growing in my gutters. The rude ass that parks directly in front of my sidewalk when there are NO OTHER CARS PARKED ANY PLACE ELSE. big damn deal. my legs aren't broken. Walk around. Which leads me to this little gem
5. RESENTMENT IS LIKE WANTING TO KILL SOMEONE BUT DRINKING THE POISON YOURSELF. really. I don't think this needs explained;-)
6. BE THE CHANGE YOU WANT TO SEE IN THE WORLD. I love this and I really need to remember that clicking "like" isn't actually taking action!!!
and FINALLY (for this list at least) the hardest one...
7. BE LIZ you can't be true to your career path OR life path without this step!! Well, you know a less funny person would insert joke about everybody being Liz and how awesome the world would be. But I won't go there... hahahaha .
One of my new mantras hasn't actually made my official list yet ;-) CHAMPAGNE PROBLEMS  when I am about part way through some big rant/whine about being -too busy, too tired, which outfit to wear, where to park at the mall blahblahblah- I suddenly realize it say this is a champagne problem!! I, and most other people certainly have much BIGGER  and more life altering problems than that and I need to SETTLE DOWN! hahaha;-)
** totally unrelated funny story*** when I was an apprentice/assistant at my first salon in columbus I worked for a guy that did(the hair of) all of the society people in town. This was pre new albany. The old school club of bexley and upper arlington lol ANYWAY I was VERY busy doing color, shampooing, keeping him on schedule and trying to be perfect. One client was walking back from an excellent shampooing (if I do say so myself) I was behind her. The towel was falling slow motion style from her neck and down her back.My attempt to catch it was even MORE slow motion and I ACCIDENTALLY GRABBED HER BUTT!! OMG. 20 some years later I'm still traumatized!
ONCE AGAIN THANK YOU SO MUCH I hope you'll think about making a few lists yourself! You'll be amazed how it clears your head and helps you see who you REALLY want to be!

Wednesday, July 17, 2013

what my dog did for me or how one good decision opens a lot of doors!

Hello again! Its wednesday!! Of course when you're on the self employed path there is no hump day lol. Each day is its own, independent adventure!! ;-)
This past week I feel like I've been really aware of how one decision leads to another and another and another! Its so much easier to see these links after the fact, but I've always tried to see opportunities around me.Think about some of the things that have probably happened in your life. It could be as simple as listening to a friends referral on a car salesman at a Lot you never would have considered and getting a great experience. It could be as big as taking a major career "plunge" because the bakery you've always tried to copy at home is closing... and its for sale cheap!
I always say everyone has opportunities we just don't always have our eyes open!!
So, back to me! GEEZ!! ;-)
About halfway through my run at The BIG salon at The BIG Mall I was sitting on my couch, buried in near tonnage of papers and a clunky old laptop. I was compiling all of the notes I had taken from classes over the years. Creating a reference book and writing my own apprentice training manual. TOTAL. DREAM. COME. TRUE. I was also watching a dog competition show. I don't know why!?! Probably couldn't unbury the remote!
Lightening Bolt! I wanted a DOG! But I was easily gone 12 hours a day. Wouldn't a dog be nice? Sure I didn't know shit about dogs but, but, but... I did a survey online and beagle was the best breed for my lifestyle.

A  day or two later I'm having lunch with 2 friends. I excitedly tell them about how I want to change my life i.e.get a dog. They look at each other like a moment like from a movie and say" we have the perfect dog for you!"
Its a long story of why this overweight, depressed, 5 year old beagley mutt needed a home but when they brought her over for a visit she sat all 60lbs of herself right on my lap!
I could go on forever about this dog and me but I'm going to come back to this another day.;-)

My point(finally)for this topic today- what my dog did for me... Now some people might say "damn your life/career really fell apart after you got a dog. I say we came into each others lives when we were most needed!
Besides all of the emotional well being and exercise I've gotten from having this sweet dog many opportunities have come my way!
A client of mine bought a dog walking business and then moved to my neighborhood. She taught me how to walk my dog! (for a year that stubborn damn dog dragged me down the street going crazy on every other dog she even thought she saw!!) Later when I was desperate for more income that same friend was in need of a part time dog walker/ petsitter . "My" dogs were mostly downtown, which i loved! We always left notes for the dog owners and through that I became friendly with some very cool people that I had never even seen in person! When my friend was selling the business I knew I would miss these neighborhoods.I started thinking it was time to become self employed. One day, as I was bending over to pick up dog poop ( the constant reminder to stay humble!) I saw a new rental salon opening right on one of my favorite streets! The next day a friend said she had already checked it out for me!!  WEIRD!

So I start the adventure of self employed hairstylist, and the new owner of the dog biz eventually asks me to work for her because I'm a hardworking responsible person! She and her husband eventually become hair clients.Another "human dog client" lives across the street. She loves the way I do her hair;-) The mom of one of her friends comes in for her hair and her dogs are now clients too. Another "human dog client" became a friend. I was the only one that would pet sit his wild dog! I now adore this dog like a niece lol. On day he asked if I was interested in doing a top to bottom house cleaning for him since his house keeper flaked out.By then I was much less weirded out about my new attitude toward doing non career work.
 BIG BIG bucks just in time for xmas!! Oh and then! I started cleaning for him once a week! One day his friend asked me to take the dogs to a photoshoot. The photographer was brilliant!!! Now I'm part of the team working to make his vision of a cool new local magazine come true!! SERIOUSLY!!!
I truly believe these things would not have happened if I hadn't decided to take a chance and make a change.

Getting a rescued twice, used dog that was almost nothing like what I thought I wanted, But was unbelievably exactly what I needed!!
**don't have a totally unrelated funny story today because I want to take a moment to tell you just how much I really love my dog! Even if not a single work or social connection was made because of her; she would still be one of the best things I've ever done for myself!It's been 8 1/2 yrs now. She's 13 and we walk 2 or 3 times a day and sleep together every night! She quickly got down to her proper weight of 40lbs, learned how to walk on a leash, and grudgingly puts up with other dogs!! We ADORE each other!! Rescuing an animal is also rescuing YOU! ;-)
See ya next wednesday!!**

Wednesday, July 10, 2013

do I swear? when the naval academy has new cadets...they call me!

Well I think I wanna throw up now. I hit a mystery button and my entire blog draft disappeared. Never to be seen again. ok. Pity party over. I, of course don't have notes so here is my brand new version of my brand new post. DAMMIT!
Sooo, last week I asked What You Thought Your First Job Said About You. I'm sure you pondered this for many self reflective hours. No? You mean you have other things to do? lol I understand. But you might be surprised to discover what it says about you. It might even help you change from career path to life path.

So this project is for me to tell you how this all came about for me. I'm going to spare us all the torture of going chronologically through my 24 year career an get right to some of the Big Pivotal Moments.
About 10 or 12 yrs ago I serendipitously got a job working in a small, successful salon in the 'burbs. I thought my friend had given the owner the heads up that I would be calling sooo when I did call (while I was working some place else) and he said "where are you calling from" I said " the parking lot". He paused and said " no where do work now" Really?! He still hired me. It seemed like a lucky break.
I started working right when they were planning a huge new salon, possibly even more. An empire, if you will. Dream come true!The whole team was motivated, smart and they valued my experience. Perfect. More check marks on my career path goal list!
I should tell you now. I'm the kind of person that LOVES energy, inventiveness, vision,and most importantly, follow through. I can, and have, been strung along by amazing team meetings and brainstorming sessions! I don't want to create and be the entire engine. I want to be a PART of something BIG! I'm a weirdo. I know.

So, jump ahead a year or two and we had a BIG Party for our BIG Salon in the BIG Mall and I soon realized I was fucked BIG Time.

Things weren't good from the beginning. I cried a lot. At the same time I was checking off career path goals left and right!!I did EVERYTHING I set out to do. The problem is when you want to be a part of someone else's BIG Picture, your fate is in their hands.So things that went down over those 4 yrs will be blog fodder for a long time ;-) Lets just say for now I'll tell you one story.

While walking to my car in the back of the BIG Mall parking lot I started to think- What if I got hit by a car. Just a little. Just enough to knock me down. I would HAVE to take a week or two off from work. YAY! No choice. It would be even better if it was one of the security trucks. Oh yea! Someone with good liability insurance. Maybe even a little settlement so I'd keep my mouth shut!! Seriously. At the time it seemed completely reasonable. I should ALSO tell you- In the hair biz you work strictly on commission. No base pay. No work paid benefits. But you get to be a full-time, fully taxed employee. Just the price you pay to be in a profession you love. So. anyway, I didn't get hit by a car. I didn't even take a dive and fake it. lol I did probably cry on my way home. I don't remember for sure because  I used to do that Alot!!
So a couple years after that it finally fell apart. It was on its way from day one.There was a lot of super secret stuff and alot of bullcrap and ALOT of stress!!
I chose to go with those same salon owners to their new, small salon in the 'burbs. It was a new beginning! My work stress level was way down! But, unfortunately so was my income. By about half. Too many changes for most of my clients and I was probably too fried anyway!
 I started off there so relaxed, relieved, positive, pumped and as usual the team cheerleader. Well I had a HUGE!!! identity crisis!! I never saw myself as anything other than a full time hairstylist/manager/ trainer. I did something I had not done in my ENTIRE PROFESSIONAL LIFE-I got a part time job. I was embarrassed... but eventually REALLY PROUD! I'm a scrambler. I get shit done. I can take care of myself. Because eventually I realized I love my chosen primary profession. But I am on a LIFE PATH now!!
ps You know I left out a LOT of details;-) They'll show up later because it wasn't THAT easy lol

*totally unrelated funny story-I LOVE being an Aunt! I've been fortunate to be involved and do alot for my sister and her 2 kids. BUT one of the aunt moments I'm most proud of was teaching these two little angels (15mos apart. what the hell was she thinking?!) to say, in sweet little baby voices "damn the luck!" hahaha AUNT VICTORY!!
thanks! see ya next week;-)

Wednesday, July 3, 2013

what does your first job say about you?

Hi! welcome back!:-) I hope you took time since our last post to think about "what did you do for You today?" It really doesn't have to be anything big but it needs to be clearly declared (if only in your own mind) that you owned a moment in your entire week. To me that was the first step in starting to change from career path to life path. I got a dog. Dogs need walks, food,and love. They are not ashamed to ask for either! Honestly, the best thing I ever did for myself.
So let me tell you about how i ended up at my first job and I'm gonna start WAY back;-)
I was born in 1970 first child of high school sweethearts. They married during my dads leave from Vietnam. I was gestated and delivered in California. (which is the only possible explanation for me being the only dyed in the wool liberal in my whole family. My WHOLE family.)
My parents moved back to their hometown in Ohio. Right on the Pennsylvania/ West Virginia border. This is relevant because THIS is where I developed my stubborn streak which evolved into "if I work hard enough I sure as HELL CAN do this...)My dad worked hard everyday because he was going to take care of his family. period. You Work. He made a career eventually as a Riverboat Pilot- after every other crappy job within that field. He apprenticed and busted ass to eventually be a Captain. I don't think he was always very happy, though. 
My first few jobs don't count. ok. Seriously. I refuse to think that working at Hills dept store for 2 weeks or Ponderosa salad bar for a... few weeks, defines my destiny. But! It did say I would take whatever job was offered. hmmmm I actually never thought of that! Also, yes, we did eat out of the cooler trays of prepped salad bar food, and yes I did have an entire crock of french dressing spill UP, inside my polyester, A-line skirt. (green, of course) Oh yea I forgot about the girl that curling-ironed her hair in the prep kitchen... I should re-forget that. Sorry ;-)
No. My first real job was the summer before sr. year of high school. I was a trail guide at a horseback riding stable!!! EP! IC! SCORE!! I used to ride those trails all the time with a friend of mine. They sorta knew me and when they said they would PAY me $15 cash a day ( 8 to 10 hrs during an actual drought and heatwave) I said HELL YEA!! GREATEST SUMMER EVER! I had no formal riding training, Couldn't remember all of the trails, never cleaned a stall or a hoof or a saddle before! But I wanted it bad.So I did it! I learned as I went, I was loyal and hard working and even though they laughed themselves to sleep every night thinking about my slave labor, I WAS THE ONE THAT GOT THE MOST OUT OF THAT DEAL!! I rode horses all day long! DUH!! And you know what I now think it said about me- I take what I do seriously and I will seriously do what it takes to get to do it!!! 
* so. funny unrelated story time- As an adult I used to fall down ALOT! Its possible, I suppose, that I was always thinking about 50 other things and NEVER the actual act of walking! lol I have fallen down steps, off of high heels, off of flipflops, DONE flipflops, Fallen directly under my car. on the ice. with one arm still in the seat belt. Ive got MAD skills. I dont put my hands down when I fall.You know that's instinct to that. But I have actually DEVELOPED a new INSTINCT!! I call it the stop. drop. and roll. and then I'm back on my feet. Mud, rain, snow, ice, sand, carpet, concrete, steel, sunshine, fog. I KNOW why its called HARD wood. You name it I've landed on it. My dad used to ask in the back ground of my calls back home, Where'd she fall this time. My sister says shes never known anyone to turn their ankles (or choke on spit. unrelated.)more than me. LOL Dad used to tell me to get my next apt on the ground floor or he was going to take out a hazard policy on me hahahaha!! family love ;-) See Ya Next Wed! and think about that first job of yours. You never know, it might remind you of how you wanted things to be by now!;-)